“When my mother died, I lost a chunk of my heart. I do not think I will ever get it back. Your mother is your home. She gave you life. Unsurprisingly, life isn’t the same without her.” Madeleine Rose
It’s Mother’s Day. Often this is both the most blessed and frustrating of days. The blessings are obvious…parenting joys, first steps, kindergarten, baseball, proms, and weddings. Where else do all these human activities gather meaning except in this. Frustrating, because not all of us have had, or have been, good mothers. And sometimes motherhood never came.
And then sometimes that half of 100% leaves much too early. Actually, it’s always too early. Whether your mother was in her twenties or in her nineties, death comes too early. The empty place which that death brings will always stay hollow. Madeleine Rose rightly describes her mom when she writes, ‘your mother is your home’. Perhaps you can relate?
If you are a person that is enduring this first Mother’s Day in the absence of your mother and feel as if your emotions are out of control…it’s ok. That is one of the appropriate ways many people experience this deep loss and pain. Don’t try to deny it, run from it or hide from it. It might be good insight to simply…let the grief come.
And as you do, remember. Remember the gifts of laughter, tears, corrections, mistakes…and kindergarten, baseball games, proms and weddings. Just do that much…remember…and weep, and smile.
Rev. Tyler is the Chaplain and Bereavement Coordinator for St. Luke Missionary Hospice. His 30 years in ministry has uniquely equipped him for this work. If you’d like to speak to Rev. Tyler or any of the staff at St. Luke they can be reached at 843-473-3055 or write us a 16 William Pope Dr. Suite 201. Bluffton, SC 29909.